A small plead
by Raineel
Summary: Shizuru writes a letter to her mother. One-shot. Kind of AU and Shiznat.


**Author's note:** one-shot, been on my head for a while. It's not beta-ed since this is something I didn't think was worth so much checking.

**Disclaimer:** I don't anything, alright?

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**A small plead**

Hello mother,

I don't believe 'dear' will be appropriate and thought this was the most informal yet formal way to greet you. There should be many questions on your mind: doubts, fears and anger too. Of course, all this was caused by I and the only thing I can think of doing or saying is this.

From my oldest memories, I can still barely remember how joyful you looked when I had won my first competition ever. It didn't matter if I wasn't the best, you always praised and spoiled me to no end. I am profoundly grateful for it. Though, I was still an innocent child, it was enough to gaze at your face. The blissful face you gave me as you told me your dreams and hopes of the future for me. You were never a demanding woman but firm when it was necessary. Traditional when needed but still loveable and merciful with your little Ru-chan.

It wasn't until my teenager time, a little before a found my beloved. It began purely innocent until the point of dreams, blushes, staring and touches. A wave of guilt and fear took over my body each time I heard how you gave me pointers of decent male suitors. How could I? Not taking you for a homophone but glancing at how disgusted you were of them. It broke my heart each time you kept telling me your dreams. Dreams I knew I wouldn't fulfill. Tentatively I questioned your likings and disliking and at the end I chose the best path possible: not fall in love.

I know, mother. It sounds silly but it was a good try, right? I didn't want to confirm my fears, not until I found the right person. The one who is bound to take my heart. Doubts and hope invaded me because I knew nothing will happen unless I fell in love. That's how everything started as I became a selfish, hypocrite manipulator. Nothing will have stopped me back then, I didn't care and said things didn't matter much. I knew by heart that two things will happen: I wouldn't have my family or my friends. In the end merely one single person and my brothers held me together the day I confirmed what I was afraid of.

It was 8 years, 2 months and 15 days ago when I met her. A woman with black locks and piercing jade eyes that caught my heart the moment we touched. However, details aren't needed are they mother? I very well know these facts have been told by my college companions to you. Besides, why will you want to hear about the woman who took your only daughter's heart and stole her from purity?

I apologize, mother. I tried too much, love and friendship was never something that trilled me at all. Neither do I want to sound cliché but it was just not for me. Did you know? Of course you do but won't want to know. Natsuki fought against my rigid walls I had built for all this years. She did it all and more. I could just fall for her even more after such bravery act.

I am blissfully joyful with Natsuki, mother. Never will I regret loving her. Though you won't believe it, though you won't want to see me. I can only say, only ask for a small plead. I am still your daughter, your little Shizuru who you could still be proud of. Natsuki is my happy fairy tale ending and this is my small plead. Consider it, mother because I still love you very much. You are one of the greatest women in my life, the one who gave me life and kept me going. You told me once, in my most fearful moments: no matter what, if you truly love him, I will gladly accept. Was it a lie? Does sex matter that much to you? Does it disgust you? Because it hurts and matter to me, I don't want you to look away if you ever were with Natsuki and I.

The last thing I could ask for, the small plea I truly want is for her. Both of us have accepted the possible outcome but please, mother, do not take more of the family she has already lost. She, surely, wants to meet her grandmother.

Your hopefully daughter,

Shizuru.

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Do as you wish, I have nothing to say now.

Edit: The "She" at the end, is Natsuki's and Shizuru's daughter. Shizuru wants her daughter to meet her mother since Natsuki's family is dead.


End file.
